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Still here… « »

Just TIRED. (This post is a total rant, so feel free to skip it.)

I’m happy to be pregnant, I LOVE that I’m pregnant, but I AM SO TIRED!!

I’m starting to think that the people who say the 2nd trimester gets easier are just lying.

I’m either behind in or have completely effed up every single thing that’s going on in my life right now. It’s all I can do to get out of bed and find clothes that still fit, get to the office, and try to do the very basic daily things.

This morning as I was preparing for class, I spilled a whole drink right down the front of my white shirt. Yesterday it was a whole cup of decaf in the lap.

If you see me, cross the street…I’m like a whirlwind of bad luck, clumsiness, irritability, and, (I hate to admit it, but it’s true…) B.O.. No matter how much deodorant, or how many showers, these hormones are noxious. Sad. But true.

Where I used to be able to work an 8-5 day, come home and work another good 4 or 5 hours…I’m lucky if I even make it to 5 without a nap. Then when I get home, I take a nap, get up to eat, and go back to bed.

For someone who had a full-time job, wrote a book, moved across the country, started another job without missing a beat…this is incredibly humiliating!

It really makes me feel like crap to start every conversation with, “I’m SO SORRY!”

SO…my book’s being pushed back, I went from full time down to 1/3 time, and hopefully that’ll help. Now, I just need my family to agree to a “no more illness” policy, I need to get over this morning sickness (yes, at 23 weeks I’m still throwing up every morning!), and I somehow need to get MORE sleep.

Tomorrow I have a WHOLE DAY OFF. Well, a whole day to catch up on email, mail packages, and generally start about 100 conversations with, “I’m SO SORRY!”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 19th, 2007 at 3:46 pm and is filed under just chit chat. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

19 Responses to “Still here…”

  1. julee Says: September 19th, 2007 at 4:02 pm

    hang in there! building new humans is tough work!

  2. Maggie Says: September 19th, 2007 at 4:34 pm

    I thought I would share with you that right at the end of my pregnancy I developed an intolerance for any deodorant. I got a horrible skin rash and couldn’t use it again until after my son was born. I hope it doesn’t happen to you!

  3. pixelle Says: September 19th, 2007 at 5:19 pm

    Dear Stephanie,

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. First of all, you carrying another human being around, so naturally your not as graceful as usual. And your supposed to be tired. The little human being is getting the majority of your calories right now. Your hormones are out of whack so naturally things are um, not as pleasant as usual. You know what…everyone understands. You can’t be your usual dynamo (which has always amazed me) right now, people understand. Actually, your still a dynamo…it’s just all internal right now…that’s all. As far as the morning sickness, no suggestion except my thoughts are so with you. By the way, from the last picture you posted of yourself ….you are positvely looking radiant..you many not think so…but you are. Hopefully with the lesser schedule, you will get some rest. Just remember, your pulling off the hardest job on the planet!

  4. purlsoup Says: September 19th, 2007 at 6:24 pm

    hang in there….being pregnant isnt always the same for everyone.

  5. Edie Says: September 19th, 2007 at 9:49 pm

    Don’t be so hard on yourself! Being pregnant is hard work. You baby is growing every single day! :) It is an amazing time, try your best keep enjoying it even through the morning sickness! LOL! I don’t know if that’s possible some days. I always found that naps were a major priority when I was pg.

    About dumping drinks on yourself. I think this is just preparation for later on when you’ll be puked on, peed on, snotted on, etc.

    Anyway, I’m glad you were able to cut work and push your book off for awhile. Why are you reading this…GO TAKE A NAP!

  6. karrie Says: September 19th, 2007 at 10:02 pm

    I think you could just start by saying, “I am SO pregnant.” No need to apologize :)

  7. thischickknits Says: September 19th, 2007 at 10:16 pm

    I loved being pregnant with my daughter, I loved it so much that I cried when I had her. I never felt better.

    But man where there days were it sucked so bad and I wanted my body back, but that is normal. Being pregnant is hard work.

    I had the sweating problem, and I don’t want to discourage or scare you, but it was nothing compared to the post partum sweating I did. OMG. I seriously sweat like a fat old plumber. Of course I had my daughter in August in Florida, but even in air conditioning I was sweating like it was going out of fashion. MY doctor said it was since I was breastfeeding and my hormones. It lasted 6 weeks and then I Was fine.

    Have you tried peppermint for your morning sickness? What I did was before I get up, before I even lifted my head was eat a cracker. The key to morning sickness is keeping food in your stomach. I would wake up an hour before I normally woke up and eat a few saltines.

    Good luck and don’t worry about your lessened work. The work will just be beginning in a few months.

  8. She Knits Too Says: September 19th, 2007 at 10:47 pm

    I feel for you, I really do! I can say that I have been there and done that … 3 times! Don’t feel guilty about sleeping, crying or barfing, just try to focus on the final product … that sweet baby. (((((hugs)))))

  9. Tittei Says: September 20th, 2007 at 1:54 am

    U poor thing. Have you tried acupuncture for your morning sickness? It did the trick for me.

  10. kat Says: September 20th, 2007 at 2:58 am

    i felt like crap the whole nine months of my pregnancy. all i wanted to do was sleep. i threw up the first, second, and third trimester . everything made me nauseous including knitting and brushing my teeth. so, i don’t know if that helps at all; but i used to wonder if i was the only one. And i used to think that everyone who said it got easier was a liar too. sorry you’re feeling so bad!

  11. topaz_stone71 Says: September 20th, 2007 at 4:41 am

    I remember this klutz phase. Every time I grabbed for something, I’d feel it slip through my fingers. Thank Heavens it does pass before you have the baby (I used to have nightmares about dropping my son).

  12. Lola Says: September 20th, 2007 at 7:16 am

    The first month of the 2nd trimester, I was more exhausted than I ever was during the 1st. Completely opposite of the 1st pregnancy! I just thought my sleepiness was because of my active 2.5 year-old. If people haven’t already told you, they’ll say “It’s preparing you for the first couple months w/ a newborn.” Horse shit! Nothing prepares you for that.

  13. Cher Says: September 20th, 2007 at 8:07 am

    OH, honey - I feel your pain. It does (should!) get better…I’m 28 1/2 weeks now and down to only occasional MS after a long period of daily retching. You’re about due for the anemia/gestational diabetes test: though I’m not thrilled about having to take the iron, at least I have some validation for the exhaustion!
    Good luck.

  14. cdaniele63 Says: September 20th, 2007 at 9:54 am

    Sounds weird, but washing with peppermint soap helps the BO thing!

    Hope things get better. If it helps, I’ve also been in a total rut, can’t get up in the am, going to bed early. Maybe it’s something in the air.

  15. Cheri Says: September 20th, 2007 at 12:02 pm

    You’re growing a person and that’s a lot of hard tiring work. Every one of my pregnancies was different. Most of them I was feeling peppier about the middle of my second trimester. Rest when you can and try to not worry about the tiredness, and don’t feel the need to apologize…it’s to be expected that you’d be tired!

  16. Liza Says: September 20th, 2007 at 5:08 pm

    The ultimate parasite. That’s what my doctor called my baby. Hang in there… don’t be too hard on yourself!

  17. annelindenfeld Says: September 21st, 2007 at 6:28 am

    Well, you are truly a mom now. In a “funny” way, pregnancy gets you ready for the real thing — the constant upheaval of schedule, the things gettng spilled or spit up on you, the dog-tiredness of it all. Fortunately, once your baby is here — and starts smiling at you (it WILL happen) you begin to see and even revel in this new process. I think ALL mothers wrestle with integrating their individual selves and the selflessness of mothering. Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s hard for all of us to juggle. Your number one job is to take care of yourself — and your baby. You won’t be able to control much for a while, but (speaking as a control freak) there might be a gift for you somewhere in that.

  18. hmvaughan Says: September 21st, 2007 at 10:26 am

    Like many others have said, hang in there. Having a baby can be humbling, especially for someone who’s such a go-getter like you. Like you I did not immediately feel that bounce back in the 2nd trimester, but it did eventually come. Try to extend to yourself the same understanding and acceptance you would to any dear friend. If you need to sleep, sleep - you don’t have to apologize for it!

  19. cinnamonamon Says: September 21st, 2007 at 8:50 pm

    I had a friend tell me about baking powder patted under her arms — she said she couldn’t find a deodorant that worked for her when she was pg. ((hugs)) Being pregnant IS hard work. Just remember your body is doing something; you aren’t lazy, wimpy or anything else. You’re pregnant. Creating a new & wonderful being. Get lots of rest and don’t run yourself ragged — you’ll regret it later (I know I did!).

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